Practice the Art of Self-love

Self-love is not selfish nor is it arrogant.

Self-love is important. 

Self-love isn’t something you do one day a week where you put on a face mask and paint your nails. Self-love is something you have to teach yourself to do every damn minute of every damn day and it needs to come from deep within you. 

This means letting go of what you think you are supposed to be, letting go of the idea that everyone and everything, including you, needs to be perfect. It means accepting that you are enough. 

Today, tomorrow and forever, you are enough. Just as you are. 

One of my all time favourite movie lines was in Bridget Jones when Mark Darcy tells her he loves her, just the way she is. Didn’t that line bring tears to your eyes? Every person wants to hear that they are perfect, just the way they are but why do we feel like we need to hear it from someone else to be able to accept it?

We need to OWN IT and tell ourselves what we need to hear. And then we need to believe it.

Living in a world that monetizes and encourages our lack of self-confidence and self-esteem, we have our jobs cut out for us peeps but you know what…it will be so worth it.  

My top 5 ways to practice the art of self-love every single day

1) Look after your body 

Eat well

Eating well is a form of self-respect and a form of self-love. If you care about your health, you should care about what you put into your body. You get out what you put in so if you want good health, eat well.  

Look after your skin

Your skin is your largest organ and protects you. Look after it by moisturising every single time you step out of the shower. It might seem like a time consuming thing to do but once you start doing it every day, you will get quicker. 

Moisturising is also a lovely form of self-massage which will help your skin and your muscles, boost circulation and help flush out impurities and toxins. It leaves you feeling nice and relaxed too.

Drink plenty of water

Hydrate, hydrate, hydrate your precious body my friends. Water helps with our digestion, circulation, toxin removal, absorption of nutrients…the list is endless. It also helps reduce puffy eyes!

Exercise

Working out is a form of self-love. Do it because you love your body not because you hate it or because you ate a pack of cookies.

Movement is our natural way of life but we are living sedentary lives more and more due to the type of work we do. Technology is great for productivity but it doesn’t promote movement.

Sweating is a great way of flushing out our systems and cleansing our bodies and we release endorphins from exercise which is good for our mental health. Whether it’s a walk, a home workout, a gym session or a class, do whatever feels right for you on that day but make sure you move. 

2) Value your time 

Time is precious. Don’t waste a second of it doing things you don’t want to do or seeing people you don’t want to see. Be picky! See the people who make you feel good and promote positivity. Steer clear of anyone that zaps your energy.

Set boundaries

Before committing to anything, ask yourself the following questions: –

• Is this something I WANT to do?
• Will I feel good afterwards? 
• Does this make me feel happy?
• Is this a good investment of my time?
• Do these people bring joy into my life?

If no is the answer to any of the above questions, make your excuses, do yourself a favour and decline that invitation.

Cancel plans if you need to

If you have something booked into your diary and you don’t feel like being sociable for whatever reason, listen to yourself, your body and mind is telling you something.

It’s OK to cancel plans. Friends will understand and if they don’t… well they aren’t really friends. There will be plenty of other times when you do feel like being sociable.  

Cancel and do what you need to do to look after yourself, mentally and physically and don’t feel guilty!

3)  Stop comparing yourself to others and accept who you are

Comparison is the thief of joy

Social media gives us a glimpse of people’s best bits, their best sides, their best moments,  their best selfie angles…basically their best everything.

Stop comparing your ‘everyday’ to someone else’s best bits and accept and embrace who you are. 

Acceptance is a gift to yourself

There may be lots of things you are working on and self-development and learning is important but there is something very special in accepting where you are right now.

“Be the best version of yourself not a poor imitation of someone else.”

4) Be mindful of your self-talk

Thoughts are as powerful as words and actions

Be mindful of what you are saying to yourself. Make your inner voice your own personal cheerleader. Next time you find yourself thinking something negative about yourself, stop and change it to something positive. We naturally do this every time someone else criticizes themselves, so do it for yourself as well. 

5) Embrace your emotions 

It’s okay not to be okay

But it’s important to remember that feelings are just visitors in our minds, they will come and they will go. 

If you feel down or sad, embrace those feelings, don’t mask them. All of our emotions are completely natural and what tends to hurt us the most in the long run, is those feelings, thoughts and emotions that have not been addressed.

Be your own best friend

Usually, there will be an underlying reason for our emotions and we need to take the time to listen to ourselves when we are in need, like we would a friend.

Would you turn your back on a friend who needed to talk because they were feeling sad? Never! So don’t turn your back on yourself. Be your own best friend.

Allow yourself the gift of some time and just sit in peace and quiet. This is a completely different practice to meditation where you empty your mind of all thoughts and feelings. Here you allow your thoughts to run wild, your mind to wander and you actively have an internal conversation with yourself.

Ask yourself these questions: –

• Is there something that’s really bothering me?
• What is it?
• What can I do to change it?
• How can I stop this from making me feel sad?

By answering those questions, you will understand more about why you are feeling the way you are and will hopefully have given yourself some advice, (like you would that friend in need), to overcome it. 

Write in a journal

A great way to avoid ‘mental cluttering’ and to embrace your emotions is by writing in a journal. 

Take 10 minutes at the end of every day to sit with your thoughts and write down your feelings. I like to do this before I go to sleep as I feel like I am downloading the content of the day and removing it from my brain which allows me to have a more restful sleep. For more ideas on how to have a more restful sleep, be sure to check out my top 10 tips for getting a better nights sleep.

I also like to use my journal to promote positive thinking and set my intentions and goals. 

Some ideas for things to write in a journal to embrace your emotions and promote positivity: –

• Thoughts and feelings
• Specific days events and how you felt about them
• Something that you are grateful for
• Goals for tomorrow, this month, next month, etc.

By writing down these things, you are processing and releasing your emotions, looking forward to the future and setting your intentions. 

I really hope these tips help you make self-love part of your daily life.

With love, Tash ❤ x

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